i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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