Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I want her autograph on my taint
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize