You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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