i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
