just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
accomplished twins. life is a go
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
