Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
