btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
did you just send me my own nude
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
