yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
