Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
