And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
