So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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