i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
