I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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