A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
