Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
