When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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