i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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