He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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