I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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