Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
