Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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