id be glad to
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
