Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
