I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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