why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
