He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize