I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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