He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
