I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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