I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
