I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
