I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
