I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
