hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize