I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I need moral support for this bender
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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