carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
