we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
