There was a lot of him and a little penis
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
