You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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