know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
