please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
