yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have post one night stand depression
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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