This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize