Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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