just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
