so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
