Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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