why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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