when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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