Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
