Your mouth is God's brothel.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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