yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
