Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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