Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
