garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
