bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
