Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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