This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
