from now on my penis is your penis
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize