Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
