It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
