I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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