is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This is my gift to your gina
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
