I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
