she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
