I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
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Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
