Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize