y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
