i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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