I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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