Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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