went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize