I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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