You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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