My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
