I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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